How many times have you said that you’re too busy to incorporate self care? There isn’t enough time in the day, the kids and your husband need to come first, the dishes are piling up and the laundry needs to be folded. Do you mention any of these common reasons? Maybe you have a laundry list of your own.
What is self care? There are many definitions and everyone has a list that works uniquely for them. I think of self care as any activity that nurtures and refuels us on a deeper level. To me, self care can be reading a book, taking a walk in nature, oil pulling, a gentle touch, a meaningful conversation, a relaxing bath, massage or a facial, meditation or working out, drawing or writing, a long walk on the beach, sex, rocking on the front porch while listening to the birds or skin brushing before a hot shower. There are so many types of self care, but you have to define what works for you.
When life gets busy, one of the first things to go is personal care. Even with a busy schedule, it’s imperative to include it in your day. Every…single…day! Yes, we can all think of a million things to do before we take care of ourselves, but not including self care can come with a price. Let’s look at these two scenarios.
Scenario Number One: You wake up in the morning hitting your alarm several times. Waking exhausted and dreading your day, you race around your house to get ready. You speed through a shower and throw on an outfit that you don’t feel great wearing. “What’s that? You don’t have time to look through your closet.” You skip breakfast because you don’t have time or grab a sugar filled, processed “meal.” As you rush into your car, you hit traffic and lose your shit. Now you’re running late to your meeting and start work on a bad foot. The entire work day is filled with stress, negativity and exhaustion. You grab sugary sweets and coffee for “energy.” Now it’s time to hit traffic and head home. You’re in a bad mood, so you bicker with your husband. Dinner time leads to an argument and you both go to bed angry.
Scenario Number Two: After a long day, you decide a cup of tea, nice book and early bed time is a great way to end the night. Even if you didn’t get everything done, you know tomorrow is a new day and you need some rest. You wake up rested, refreshed and more calm. You take a little extra time in the shower and throw on that gorgeous outfit that you picked out last night. The one that makes you feel like you’re going to conquer the day. You enjoy a healthy breakfast and some quality time with your family. While driving to work, you slow down and take a few breaths to relax and prepare for work. While at work, you enjoy some meaningful conversations with your co-workers, enjoy a healthy lunch with a colleague and head home feeling more positive and energized. Once home, you enjoy a family meal while discussing everyone’s day. Time to get the kids bathed and tucked in before some quality time with your husband.
Which of those scenarios would you choose?
You are probably sitting there thinking, “I wish it was that simple and easy!” Yes, life can be chaotic and stressful, but when you’re running with a full energy tank, you will serve on a higher level. At the same time, your personal care has a ripple effect and the lack there of can serve you negatively. It’s an important part of your day and one that should be practiced regularly. Even if you can only allow 10 or 15 minutes.
It’s not something that should be perfected. It will ebb and flow, but take the time to incorporate it every day. As you find what works for you and consistently include it in your routine, it will eventually become as common as brushing your teeth.
If necessary, schedule it into your calendar. Make it a priority when your schedule allows. Some people find it helpful to have an accountability partner. You can check in with one another once a week and see how things are going. Who do you have on your support team who can help you stay consistent? Do you have another “mom friend” who is also feeling like she puts herself last? Maybe you can ask your husband to help keep you accountable. Whether it’s your friend, coach, psychologist, spouse or family member, choose to be accountable to someone if you feel like you need the support. Even when things are busy and chaotic, it’s important to include some form of self care EVERY DAY.
Top 10 Tips for Including Self Care
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Make time for healthy meals and avoid a bunch of sugary snacks and caffeine.
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Allow some extra time in your day or first thing in the morning.
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Take ownership of your needs and communicate them to your family.
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If necessary, schedule it into your calendar.
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Have patience while you’re discovering what works for you.
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Lose the “business!” It’s a priority like anything else.
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Remove environmental and chaotic distractions (car, home and lifestyle).
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Keep a list of 5 things you consider personal care. Keep it handy and refer to it often.
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If you think it will help, find an accountability partner.
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Single pointed focus- One thing at a time. For example, don’t be on your phone while you’re relaxing in a bath.
Self care is one of the highest leverage things you can do to perform every day and stay happy and calm. Are you including Self Care into your day now? Where can you make some changes? Remember, you’re not being selfish. Everyone around you will benefit when you make these simple changes.
I would love to hear your questions or ideas. If you’re struggling to include self care or don’t know where to start, feel free to message me. It’s a huge equation in your overall health and wellness.