Throughout my life, I have wondered if I would do things differently if I knew my fate.  What would I do if I knew I was dying of an incurable cancer or illness that left me a short time in this life?  Then I thought about why I would need something so tragic and unexpected to make me overcome fears, step out of my comfort zone, spend more time with family and live a more fulfilling life.  I am so grateful and blessed for so many things in my life, but let’s be real, I am human.   So then I have to ask, what does it take to make that change?

I was recently told that two things will change your life.  One is a hardship and the other is a habit.  So many of us are creatures of habit, living a life that is often times by default.  The questions is… Are you living your life by design or default?  About six months ago, I had a hardship.  A really HARD one!  It was one that made me question my strength and existence.  It helped me to look at life from a different perspective and outlook.  It was then that I decided to make changes in my life.  It took a lot of thought as to where I was going and where I wanted to be.  In addition, what changes and choices did I need to make?  It’s such times that really make you dig deep and evaluate your life, what you’re doing and who is a part of it.

Shortly after this event, I received a phone call from my mother.  It was a call that I will never forget.  My aunt had CANCER!  The kind of cancer that was spreading fast and incurable.  I was at a loss for words and felt so helpless.  Throughout the weeks and few months that my aunt lived her final days, I would call to talk with her.  Considering we were in different states, I wanted to share what time we had left in any way possible.  I had a greater appreciation for her words and insight.  Not only because I was coming into a new chapter, a new mindset and personal growth, but I also valued the communication that we shared.  My aunt was the first person I knew in my family and close personal life who was diagnosed with cancer.  I always knew about it, but it hits home on a completely different level when it’s family or someone you hold so dear to you.

I wanted to learn from her experiences and stories.  I wanted her insight now that she knew her short time frame.  I longed for more talks and a lot more time.  Time that I would never see with her.  Every time I would close our conversation, I would ask her a question.  I would ask her what advice she would give to others.  I cannot imagine where my mindset would be if I knew my time was coming to a close.  She shared her stories of being a nurse, serving the public, volunteering, healing, struggling and succeeding.  Her life was so full and she gave to so many.  She would often tell me to go out and serve.  Help others and give back.  Her stories and experiences inspired me in a way that I never knew.

She would often quote my grandfather who was an incredible man.  One quote (by William Shakespeare) stuck out and I wanted to share.   “To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”  My grandfather, a doctor who studied disease, was always so giving and genuine.  Just like my aunt, he believed that we should all be true to ourselves.  He would say that we should stay out of trouble that isn’t “us.”  Don’t surround yourself with others who are not true and like you.  Be loving, caring, giving and honest.  Surround yourself with others who do the same.  My aunt lived her life this way.

I saw that on the day we said goodbye.  As everyone was kicking off the New Year with their goals and dreams (which I usually do as well), I was flying to New York for my aunt’s funeral.  I knew how amazing my aunt was, but I did not know how much impact she had while living her life.  I heard the stories, shared the tears, remembered and celebrated.  It was so impacting and left me wondering how I can do more, help others and give back.

As you start a New Year, think about what you would do differently.  What words of advice and insight can you share with yourself?  Are you living your life by design or by default?  This is the perfect time to reevaluate where you are going, where you want to be and what you want to create.

Life is too short to look back with regrets.  Learn from the bumps and experiences.  Create your vision and dream.  Remember that tomorrow is not a promised day.  Life is a gift and you should also be giving.  When your final days come, how will others remember you?

YOU hold the PEN to your STORY!  Go out there and write one that will be memorable and remarkable!